When I entered the presence of Sri Satguru Jagjit Singh Ji for the first time, I could not believe my eyes. He was entering the hall to give pawan pavittar darshan. He was walking slowly with several sewaks in attendance. I was surprised because he was surrounded by a gentle glow of golden light.
It was about midday and the sun was shining outside the hall. Inside, there was no special light that would make him look as he was made of soft gold. Gradually he walked to the raised dais and sat down. Apart from his compassionate face and hands, his body was covered in his usual white clothes.
He gave darshan for more than an hour while holy scriptures were recited and sacred songs were sung. The entire time, I could not really see the detailed features of his face although I was sitting in the front row at his sacred feet. All I saw was a very gentle golden glow. Finally, I gave up trying to see his face and looked down at the ground in front of him.
Inside my head, I felt someone laughing. “Acha, hun dekh lai” (“Ok, now you can see”). I looked up and I saw his face. The glow was around his face and no longer on his face. He was smiling. I do not know whether he was smiling at me. I do not think so because there was no reason for him to look at me. I was just one of the many people sitting in the front row. But it felt real; just like he was smiling directly at me. However, I do not think he ever turned his head in my direction.
It was a strange and wonderful feeling. I remembered a story my grandmother told me when I was a boy. In that story, each Gopi in Lord Krishna’s village used to feel as if Lord Krishna was with her even when he was not physically there. My experience with Satguru was similar. He was smiling and playing with me inside my mind even without looking at me. He did so even though he did not know me at all.
I had come for darshan because of a friend who said, “Do you know that God is living on earth in human form at this time. He is Sri Satguru Jagjit Singh Ji. You should go to seek his darshan. People say that whoever has the good fortune to have his darshan is released from the coils of human bondage and suffering forever.”
I felt very elated at this good news and quickly sought Sri Satguru Jagjit Singh Ji’s holy darshan. I felt like a child again who had found his parent after a long absence. I can only thank Satguru for his silent compassion. Sometimes, I still feel as if he is laughing inside my head.
